dear baby: 20 weeks, 3 days

Hey, little one. It’s your mom, and she’s growing larger. My jeans are still fitting, though I won’t be able to say that for much longer. I’ve felt you kicking around in there a few times, and each time it’s exciting and surprising.

Upward plank at Kali Yuga Yoga.
Upward plank at Kali Yuga Yoga.

It’s Monday morning, and your dad is working at his computer with music on in the background. I just made myself banana pancakes and shared a few bites with Baron and Koshi.

Baron at the park.
Baron at the park.

This is an exciting week. We get to see you on Thursday! We go that morning to have an ultrasound, and we’ll inspect your heart and some of your organs. We’ll also learn if you’re a girl or a boy. At first I thought for sure you were a girl, I kept calling you She and Her, and then I thought I should back off. I dreamed two times that you were a boy. In the first dream you were three days old and already crawling. A prodigy! In the second dream you were a few weeks old, and we still hadn’t named you! I doubt either of those dreams will come true. Hah.

Your Nana and your Aunt Chelsea and Maggie all think you’re a boy. The Chief thinks you’re a girl “all the way.” Your dad and I have no idea.

Koshi at the park.
Koshi at the park.

At 20 weeks, we’re officially halfway through this pregnancy journey, though it’s hard to anticipate what it will be like when you are here. You are already here! Here outside my body, is what I mean. What will you smell like, look like? Will you be small, long, slim? Will you come quickly or slowly?

Me, Baron, and Rocko Taco.
Me, Baron, and Rocko Taco.

I’m reading a birthing book called Birthing from Within, and the book prompts readers to make birth art. I will start making it soon and sharing it with you.

Here are 7 true things right now:
1. My belly, boobs, and butt are growing!
2. I’m reading The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt.
3. It’s an amazing, breathtaking book so far.
4. It’s a cloudy day today, and it’s been a rainy/stormy week.
5. Nana treated me to a pedicure yesterday! (She’s the best.)
6. My toes are now a metallic plum.
7. Thursday seems forever away!

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