dear baby: 14 weeks, 4 days

Hello, dear. It’s mommy, from the outside.

I’m 14 weeks, 4 days pregnant today. You’re due in late October, though the dates are approximate. I have a midwife’s appointment next week. It’s raining outside, and your dad is working. It’s after 10 p.m. Koshi is napping on the floor and Baron is napping on the couch. Angel is downstairs napping.

It’s finally started to sink in that I’m pregnant with you, dear baby. At first it didn’t feel real, the fact that I’m going to be a mom. Now I’m starting to get thicker around the middle. I’m starting to feel it, the tightening in the belly. I’m taking it slower moving around; I’m being more mindful of you.

This weekend I’m going to Louisville to reunite with my college roommates. We’re celebrating Oregon’s wedding with a Kentucky Derby bachelorette party. Oregon is getting married in Oregon in August, but you’ll be very big by then and I won’t be able to fly out there. It’s always a great time with these ladies, and I can’t wait to see them all. It’s rare that five women can live together without issue, but we truly did it and had a kick-ass time. This will be your first (and MY first!) Kentucky Derby experience. I’m looking forward to chatting with Kim, who just had baby Jack. And I’m looking forward to repaying Oregon for the many, many (seriously, so many) nights she was my designated driver. Since I’m pregnant with you, I’ll be driving some of the ladies to and from Derby. It will be a day of fun, silliness, tutus, drinking (not for me, though), and vodka-filled watermelons.

Here are some things that are true about me right this moment:
1. I’m reading Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell.
2. I had guacamole for dinner; your dad makes a mean guac.
3. I’m in the rough-editing stage of my first book.
4. I have an urge to dye the tips of my hair lavender.
5. Later we’ll watch an episode of True Blood on HBO Go.
6. Vampires used to scare the piss out of me.
6a. I used to sleep with my covers over my neck to protect myself from vampire bites, even in hot weather.
6b. I only recently stopped doing this. So brave!
7. I can’t wait to feel you moving around in there.

love love.

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